ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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