I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
