what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Swine flu is the new snow day.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
