Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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