Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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