People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
