Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
