I want to walk on stilts...naked
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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