somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Randomize
