You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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