i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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