Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
