He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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