Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
