Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
