he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize