I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
