oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
