i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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