would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
