Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
