Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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