Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
