marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
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They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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