so let's talk penis.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊