So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
