I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
