You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
