just come out here and I will go home with you...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
