I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
