we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
