Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
