i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize