I hate all girls vehemently.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
