I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
