i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
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