I think my fart just growled at me.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
