is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
