in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
