a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
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