Yo dont text me then not text me
never play flip cup with pint glasses
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize