Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
