my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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