WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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