Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward