Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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