Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
my shit smells like andre
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap