and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
