So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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