she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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