I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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