Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Randomize
