Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
