Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
