These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
