I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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