If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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