Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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