This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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