I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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