pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
