Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
