Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize