The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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