I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
