Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
