just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
