I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
