I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
