Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
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You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
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We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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